| We all applaud the Joint Special Operations Command. They're the ones who got Bin Laden. That's right, SEAL Team Six is Special Ops. Brave soldiers fighting on the front lines. But you know what they probably don't have? Ninjas. And, hey, we're not military experts or anything, but ninjas improve any team. Okay, so maybe SEAL Team Six does have ninjas. Technically, we can never know for sure. Probably because that kind of thing would be necessarily classified, but also because secrecy is like 90% of being a ninja. Maybe the Special Ops guys don't even know there are ninjas on their own team! That's just how secretive a ninja can be. And exactly why we need more of them fighting for our nation. But we don't need just any ninja. We need the very best. Know anyone you might suggest?Yes, your child is the perfect candidate! Young, full of energy, and experienced with sharp weapons. All of those years running around the backyard are about to pay off. But your child can't master the arts of mystery and secrecy running around with a stick. Oh no, your kid needs the very best equipment for this mission. That's where we come in. State of the art Special Ops ninja gear is our jam. The finest camouflage prints, with extra muscle padding added so that no one will doubt the strength of your little warrior. And of course a face mask to conceal his identity. No one will ever see him coming until it's too late. Give your child the opportunity of a lifetime: the opportunity to kick butt as a Special Ops ninja. |
