| It isn’t very often that we get to hang out with deities or even their immediate relatives. We were able to meet Salty, the god of pretzels, at our last get-together, but we’re pretty certain that he just bought a bunch of off-brand bags from the gas station to our celebration. Not really what we were expecting from a pretzel god! And, the polls are still open on the Lord of the Dance, but we’re thinking that’s just a fancy title for what are, admittedly, some pretty sick moves. You should watch him do the whip and nae nae while dancing the Irish jig. It's pretty sweet! However, the days of real miracles seem pretty lacking these days which is pretty unfortunate if you ask us, because we happen to be a big believer of miracles! But, it isn’t like we expect the parlor tricks or even some well-timed godly intervention when the speakers go on the fritz, on the other hand, isn’t it time that our prayers were answered? We think so!Well, you can be our literal Savior when you take the mantle of the Son, Jesus Christ, in these divine robes and blessed shroud. Don’t let simple appearances fool you! The robe of Christ is deceptively comfortable despite its potato sack appearance. We spare no expense for the Son of God and neither will your parishioners when they look upon your most glorious face surrounded by the rich red of your headscarf. And, let’s not forget that water-to-wine rite. That’ll show Salty what a true Messiah is! |
